How to identify Nollywood films.

1: When Ini Edo, a poor village
is rejecting marriage proposal
from a rich kid ‘Jim Iyke’ but madly in love with Desmond
Elliot, an okada man
2: When a newly wedded couple
are making love in their room
with no one watching and yet
they cover themselves with thick
blanket and start to struggle
and sweat as if they were
to do it @ Enerhen Junction
3: When the Advert reads : “Gbam….!! Nneka!! Nneka!! Nneka!!,
ruff you ohhh…!!! With all my life
ohhhhh!!!!, Mama Emeka don kill
me, Baba ebuka I dey warn you
ohhhh…!!! Mama Odinaka, I am begging you ohhh… Chei,
4: When a man is caught pants
down by his wife cheating and
the next words that comes out
of her mouth is “Ooooh, Honey, Don’t tell me you are doing this!
The husband replies; Sweety, It
not what you think, I can
5: When every GateMan Role is always casted by a clownish
Aboki, & the Master Shouts
Mallam, Mallam! Abeg open the
Gate! The Aboki will reply in
Ina zua Maigida 6: When an hospitalised patient
dies by shaking violently for a
long time on the hospital bed
before eventually dying
7: A Black and ugly child grows
up to be Van Vicker or Ramsey
8: The actresses dress like they
are going clubbing when they
just going to visit their grandma
at the Village
9: When you see a Village
herbalist wearing a Brazillian
to consult the gods of d land. 10. When an accident Victim is
bleeding profusely and someone
walks up to him and asks ‘Are
you hurt?’
11. where a girl playing the role
of daughter looks older than the
one playing mother.
12. When it takes a gateman
minutes to open up gate.
13. Where a beefy elephant looking woman plays the role of
glamour girl.
14. Where Osita Iheme pummels
Amaechi Monagor in the guise
karate expert. 16. When a housegirl type
appears with lipstick. 17. Where
all village husbands use
wrapper as night dress.
18. When a rich boy friend
takes a girl to boutique and buys 20
dress without evidence of cash
changing hands.