I was driving down the street at Maitama,
having just finished answering a call when a
policeman suddenly opened the passenger
door, entered and jammed it. As usual he
wanted “something” from me for calling while
driving. Then suddenly he saw the big Rottweiler dog, Jack, at the backseat with tongue stuck out, saliva dripping and canines barring. Jack was staring fiercely at him.
Policeman: (shocked) Ah! You carry dog?
Me: Yes. I carry dog. That one na offence?
Policeman: (feeling uncomfortable) Na where una dey come from?
Me: From hospital.
Policeman: Ehen! You dey sick?
Me: No, na the person wey the dog bite we go see, the person almost die sef.
Policeman: (Terribly shaking) Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?
Me: Na so him dey do if he wan bite person. Policeman: And the dog know you?
Me: Yes na, no be my dog? Policeman: (Sweating profusly) This your door, how you dey open am?
Me: How you take enter?
Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am but e no open. [The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, It’s tongue almost touching the policeman’s left ear]
Policeman: (now leaning forward) Oga, I take God beg you, open the door for me make I
comot, I no go collect anything from you. Me: How much you go pay me?
Policeman: Ah! I never hustle anything since morning, na only 1k dey with me.
Me: You neva ready, (pretending to to release the dog)
Policeman: ok ok ok ok ok, my money reack 2k the other 1k na my wife own but I go give you
join. [now close to tears as the dog was
becoming increasingly aggressive, ready to
attack on command]
Policeman: Oga, abeg sorry for me, take the 2k make you open door for me, abeg.
Me: Oya bring am. (collects the 2k and unlocks the passenger door)
Policeman: God punish you! ! E no go ever betta for you and your yeye dog. Wicked man.