You are a lady of forty-five years old. Your yester-years was filled wih disappointing men while they are the “mugu”, you are the “smart”. You suddenly woke up to reality, “I don pass to marry o”. Before angels’ eyes, you became holier than Gabriel did. Pastors and prayers became your exact best friends, that night vigils are attended during the mid day. Don’t worry, king Solomon will make you his first wife.
To you sitting at home and possibly singing, “Mercies of the lord, come down to your children”. Arrange your bed or mat very well and snore when you sleep. You shall dream dreams of being a manager of Shell and mingling with Obama, and then you wake up to realize rats have eaten your leftover bread. Curse your enemies and go back to sleep. Manas if not hummer jeeps will fill your room.
You are a guy of twenty-five years. You sag your trousers while the boxer begs to see the laundry. You looked so “baffed up” in another’s belongings while in your heart, “Abeg, make this guy no see me o before he fall my hand”. Just walk through the shadows of evil and the devil will see you in another dimension.
You are a prostitute and before the altar of God, you poured out your supplements. You want more customers. The ones coming do owe or you fought them with a torn bra before you are paid. Clean up those tears, “For He shall supply thee according to His riches in glory”. Just make sure you did not run out of “rain boots”.
To you armed robber, successful operations will not escape your mind. Call the man of God to bless your office. Make sure what you are having, are sticks not capable of hurting a rat. Banks will await your coming.
Mrs. Housewife, your husband’s bed suddenly became a playground. Lizards and cockroaches can dine there. In your heart, “My husband will never suspect”. Of course, he will never. If he does, amadioha can do a better job.
Oga, your secretary has kept you away from home. In her eyes, you are too good, as “idiot” becomes your name while you laugh away everything. At home, you are Mike Tyson because madam asked for ten naira to buy maggi. On Sundays, you pray for protection and love into your family.
Mr. Police, while you pray for promotion, twenty naira on your mind. Criminals are having a field day, “Who wan die?”
You are a yahoo boy. Maga must pay or if you didn’t see any, make your family and friends the victims. Tell any of them, a friend of yours left over fifteen million dollars in the bank which needed a claimant. If none don’t have the money, let them sale off their valuables.
Oga landlord, you always lie in wait to know when salaries are increased, then you catapult your rents. In your heart, “pay or go?”. Just get ready your lawyers and well written quit notices for any idiot that challenges you. Your children won’t travel out.